"Look to the cookie, Elaine, look to the cookie"

Baseball games are long, and the press dining room at Progressive Field always has dessert sitting out. I’ll save you the hassle of computing these two seemingly unrelated items by providing this simple formula: Time to kill + free dessert = chubby sportswriters.

We sportswriters, even the non-chubby ones, know our dessert. I’ve made a strong effort to limit myself to one dessert per home series, but it doesn’t always work that way. I’m a sucker for Peanut Butter (and I know it’s not AP style to capitalize Peanut Butter, but it is AC style, so you’ll have to bear with me… and yes I really did just write AC style… please strike that from the record).

During this homestand, media relations guru Bart Swain and I have taken on a particular affinity for Fast Break candy bars. Have you seen these things? They contain chocolate, PB and… nougat, I think. Not that I know what nougat really is, but it’s good. Bart is giving these things the vitamin treatment.

Your choice in dessert says a lot about you as a person. I’m a fan of ice cream people. They are down to earth. But I don’t mind a little creativity. One writer in here said he likes to take a jelly doughnut, remove the jelly, stick a Peanut Butter cup inside and warm the doughnut up. Now, removing the jelly from a jelly doughnut seems difficult. Placing the PB cup inside seems downright impossible. As Swain said, “That’s like giving birth backwards.” Anyway, give it a shot, and let me know how it goes for you.

Speaking of creativity, Wedge got a little creative with tonight’s lineup. For starters, Travis Hafner is moved down to the No. 6 spot, just a couple days after Wedge said he wasn’t even considering such a thing (things change in a hurry in this game). Wedge said Hafner’s problems at the plate are the Indians’ chief offensive concern, and he doesn’t see the point in having Pronk bat third while he’s still getting himself straightened out.

Here’s how the lineups look this beautiful May evening…

INDIANS: CF Grady Sizemore, 3B Casey Blake, LF David Dellucci, C Victor Martinez, SS Jhonny Peralta, DH Hafner, 1B Ryan Garko, RF Franklin Gutierrez, 2B Asdrubal Cabrera. Paul Byrd on the mound.

MARINERS: CF Ichiro Suzuki, 2B Jose Lopez, LF Raul Ibanez, 3B Adrian Beltre, DH Jose Vidro, 1B Richie Sexson, C Jeff Clement, RF Wladimir Balentien, SS Yuniesky Betancourt. RHP Miguel Batista pitching.

EXCRUCIATING MINUTIA OF THE DAY:

  • Martinez is now leading the AL in batting average with a .366 mark.
  • A pretty incredible stat on Cliff Lee… According to Elias, his .163 on-base percentage allowed is the lowest by a pitcher over his first five starts of a season in … 99 years. You remember Frank Smith, right? He pitched for the 1909 Chicago White Sox and had a .159 OBP after five games. But I’m not telling you anything you didn’t know.
  • SportsTime Ohio will debut a new show Tuesday at 6 p.m. “Indians Minor League Magazine” will take a look at the farm system, highlighting prospects and staff. It will be hosted by Al Pawlowski and the immortal Mark Schwab.

~AC

 

  

4 Comments

hafner coming back around. loving it. darn good game. im thinking that might have been our boost we’ve needed. we shall see.

now if the tigers can just start losing.

I liked the lineup again last night… but the strike zone at the end of the game? Let Dellucci know that everyone at home said what he probably wanted to say.

If you’re looking for the devil-incarnate in candy bars, may I suggest the Take 5: PB, carmel, pretzel & peanuts, covered in chocolate.

i foresee a candy lineup in your future….

WILLIE: Sir, what, exactly, is the problem?

GEORGE: One of your guys – Kip, or Ned, short name – stole my Twix candy bar!

WILLIE: Are you saying he grabbed your candy bar away from you?

GEORGE: He might as well have! I caught him, and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs.

WILLIE: I thought you said it was a Twix.

GEORGE: Oh, it was. But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar.

WILLIE: Maybe it was.

GEORGE: Oh, no, no. Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.

WILLIE: What about the Hundred-Thousand-Dollar bar?

GEORGE: No. Rice and caramel.

WILLIE: Nougat?

GEORGE: No.

WILLIE: Positive?

GEORGE: Please.

WOMAN: You know they changed the name from Hundred-Thousand-Dollar bar to Hundred-Grand?

GEORGE: All I want is my seventy-five cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired!

WILLIE SR: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.

MAN: What’s the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?

GEORGE: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial!

WILLIE SR: Not Skittles.

Hey, I added your link: http://castrovince.mlblogs.com/2008/05/01/look-to-the-cookie-elaine-look-to-the-cookie/ to my page under the title “Look to the cookie, Elaine, look to the cookie” CastroTurf.

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